On this page, you will be able to donate to the countless surgeries that I will unquestionably need as a result of me eating like a damn pig all over the world. Click to donate below!
About the Surgeries:
Tijuana Lipo – This will fund a liposuction procedure in sunny Tijuana, Mexico. (Plane ticket included. Sidearms, bullets, and bodyguards not included.)
Lap-Band Surgery – This will fund an adjustable gastric band. This is a band that goes around the stomach, which controls hunger. I obviously need this.
Coronary Bypass – This surgery will help my heart from shutting down from all of the cholesterol-laden food that I eat. Mmmm… steak.
The Beatles were wrong–all you need is PayPal!
(Historically, there would have been PayPal links here, but I think PayPal is a pretty evil company as of 2022, so I’ve disabled this on the site.)